Feeling overwhelmed by everything before me. Struggling to unpack my office, where there simply never seems to be space enough for everything; a similar challenge aboard, of course. Just want to feel unpacked, settled in, centered. Instead, simply attending to each little crisis as it arises and then crashing, exhausted--physically and emotionally.
Some five weeks feeling like camping is wearing me down. I cannot even store clothes where they need to go on the boat because I still have not managed to eliminate the holding tank odor that seems to comes from the vent line. Bought hose and hose clamps yesterday to replace the vent line, which I suspect is permeated. Hoping that will be a solution, but unsure of my ability to tackle this little project on my own.
No propane hooked up, (and me with no idea how to do it), so unable to cook. A pot of soup on the propane stove would also be my best and only source of heating the boat if today's nor'easter knocks out my shore power. Galley sink only generates a trickle of water, though pressure is strong in the sink head, so even washing dishes will be a chore. Fridge compressor did not seem to be running and was worried one of the few items on the boat that works had died. On the upside, the compressor was simply off as the fridge was plenty cold. On the downside, the canned beer and soda had frozen and several sodas had exploded; got to unload the entire fridge and clean up frozen diet Dr. Pepper everywhere.
Worried about finding a way to get the boat hauled, seacocks replaced, and main bilge pump serviced with the very limited funds I have left. Would prefer to learn how to do the work myself, but with the seacocks and bilge pump being the most important parts to keep the boat afloat, I am fearful of making any mistakes.
Bought an oil-filled radiator-style heater yesterday and that has helped to warm up the boat a bit. I am still very nervous about leaving it running when away from the boat. Several people have suggested it is safe to do so, and I hate to leave the cats and pup alone and cold overnight when I stay elsewhere or when I am gone for long periods during the day.
Deeply sad to see my floppy-haired sailor guy leaving town in a couple of days. Had hoped at least the last week would have been an opportunity to enjoy each other. Had thought there was something real and lasting afoot, and was foolish to let myself fall for him. I just want the days back when he wanted me to fall in love with him and we stayed up dancing together all night. Wish I could at least get time together to let him know he will be truly missed.
A marathon is on my calendar in less than 3 weeks for which I have not trained. Must soon decide whether to slog it out and try to make it to my ultramarathon in December, or whether to throw in the towel. I hate to quit; perhaps I can pull myself together and get out in the cold this morning for a run.